A Day of Depression
As I was falling asleep last night, and all day today, I keep thinking about how things are going so far. I’m really frustrated. This is the first time during this experiment that I’ve been frustrated like this.
I suspect, though, that this is an appropriate emotion. One that anyone who spends 100 days making a game will go through. So I can’t ignore it, and I’ve got to write it down. It’s a part of the experience.
Maybe it will help if I try to pinpoint why I’m frustrated. Here goes….
The smaller issue is that my sprint isn’t going according to plan. I’m three days in and I’ve completed 4 story points out of 38 that I had scheduled to complete this week. And it gets worse. Day 1, I completed 3. Day 2, 1 point. Day 3, 0.
It feels like I’m going backwards.
And it feels like my sprint is doomed to fail.
The bigger issue is, if I’m not able to get done with what I want in one week, how on Earth will I be able to get done with what I want in 100 days? Have I bitten off more than I can chew? Is what I’m attempting to do even possible?
I mean, I just looked at the credits for Homeworld 2. I counted 127 people, plus 63 people were listed under “Special Thanks”. Plus, there were a lot of times where companies or facilities were listed as doing one piece or another. There could have been another 100 people who were involved in one way or another! And that’s over way more time than 100 days.
What am I doing here?
I don’t know. I mean… I’m not making Homeworld 2. I don’t need to make Homeworld 2. I just need to make my game.
Despite everything, my game is actually probably tiny compared to Homeworld 2.
I just… can’t convince myself that this is even remotely possible today.
Maybe I should just go lose myself in programming for a little while and see how I feel later.